What am I doing with my life? (Ship life FAQ)

What have I become?!? The answer is that I have become a bus boy on a cruise ship. Most people say, “Wait, what?” Today I will answer as many of your questions as I can. I’m learning as I go because unfortunately, none of the information is in one place. Many of the administrators who are supposed to be helping me are unresponsive, don’t know, or are just plain wrong. I’ve collected this information from rumors from my fellow crew mates.

• Where are you going?
  • I’m going to Hawaii! The cruise is 7 days, 6 nights, 5 stops, and 4 islands. We’ll be making laps around the islands. It never comes back to the states, so we don’t waste time on the ocean.
• How long are you going?
  • It’s 5 to 6 months. If I give them at least a month notice, they can change my end date within a 2 month range. Then I have a 5-6 week break.
• How many hours are you working?
  • The official website would have you believe it’s “minimum 40 hours,” however I’m told the average is 10 hours a day, 70 hours a week. It will depend on how many shifts I do. All bus boys work dinner, then I’ll either work breakfast or lunch. On unlucky days, I’ll be working all 3.
• What are you doing?
  • It’s a combination of bus boy and “food runner” called, “Restaurant Steward.” I’ll be starting off in the crew eating area (called the “crew mess”) because my fellow crew mates will be more lenient when I trip and drop their food on the floor. Eventually, I’ll move up to the passenger cafeteria/buffet area, then maybe to a real restaurant.
  • They say you can get promoted after only 2 months to assistant waiter! But you have to be on time every time. Being late by a mere minute will put a mark on your monthly evaluation, and you have to have a perfect evaluation 2 months in a row to get promoted.
• How much do you get paid? Hawaii minimum wage?
  • Ha! No it’s just above federal minimum wage. Getting promoted raises your wage almost exponentially, so that will be nice. I will get paid time and a half for anything over 40 hours. If I work 70 hours, that’s basically a 40% raise.
• How do you feel about being union?
  • It’s obviously terrible! I’m nonplussed to say the least. But, alas, it’s mandatory. There’s a $300 initiation fee, plus a monthly fee of like $100. Not terrible… but anything mandatory is clearly bad.
• What about being a bartender?
  • I worked as a bus boy for 2.5 months and I was both disheartened and dismayed about the prospect of being a bartender. My personal reasons are:
    • It doesn’t seem like as fun of a job as I previously imagined.
    • The bar I worked at had 1 male bartender and 4 female bartenders. One of the female bartenders told me that it’s easier to get the job if you’re female. There’s nothing I can do about that, and I’m not willing to put in the extra time and work for what seems like a low benefit.
    • I hate going to the bar and I don’t like drinking.
  • The bartenders on land only get 30 hours of work per week, which means they have to get a second job.
  • There are a few extremely profitable nights per year, otherwise, but there are a ton of boring Sundays through Thursdays. I hate idling.
  • One bartender from Norwegian stopped to talk to us for a minute. She said she made $7k per month because she worked hard. Let’s say it was a year-round cruise like mine, that’s $84k per year… gross. After taxes, it’s probably closer $65? My guess is that she’s working at least 70 hours per week, which makes her hourly wage $18/hour, even before taxes it comes out to $24/hour. It’s impressive for a job that doesn’t require a degree, but it’s not nearly as profitable as I imagined. If I’m going to work that many hours, I’d rather get two engineering jobs that pay $50k per year. Maybe I’d do mechanical engineering by day and coding by night. Maybe, but if I’m doing it for the money, I’d become something radical like a doctor. Or, you know, start a business. Someday.
• What’s it going to be like living on a cruise ship?
  • Food
    • I went to training, and the food was delectable! It was restaurant quality, minus the aesthetic plating. As much shrimp scampi, ribs, pulled pork, salmon fillet, and halibut fillet as you want! I was in hog heaven!
  • Gym
    • Speaking of food, they have a free gym.
  • Clothes
    • I wear a uniform 1/3rd of the day, and I can wear pajamas the rest of the time. They have free laundry, so I could bring a set of clothes and wash them, I suppose.
  • Rent
    • We’ll either get a 2, 3, or 4 bedroom. I saw pictures, it’s tight. Tight as in, “close quarters,” not as in “cool.” There’s only enough room under the bed for my checked bag, a dresser for my clothes, and a medicine mirror for a handful of toiletries.
  • No car and no commute
    • I’ll miss my chick magnet car, but not as much as I miss not paying for gas, car insurance, or sitting in traffic.
  • Hawaii beaches and excursions
    • On days when I’m not working both breakfast and lunch, I can get off the ship. Sometimes I can trade shifts with a friend so I only will be working dinner, giving me all day to enjoy Hawaii. I can go to the beech, I can go to Walmart, I can go to a starbucks, I can get fresh fruits and vegetables, I can go on hikes, and sometimes I can do the excursions for a reduced rate.
  • Cruise restaurants
    • I don’t have to eat at the crew mess, I can get permission to eat where the customers eat (about once per week). As if the food I got wasn’t good enough!
  • Family discounts
    • The family discount is only 15% off. It’s not much, and the Hawaii cruise is the most expensive one that Norwegian offers, plus the plane ride is $600-$1000 round trip. Plus, I only get that benefit after I’ve worked 6 months.
• So this is it huh?
  • Well first of all, this fits really well with the things I love in life. I love minimalism. When I lose something, I don’t think, “darn, I needed that.” I think, “Freedom! I’ve been liberated!” I love being busy. I love doing something hard. I love working my way up. I hate cooking, laundry, and driving. It’s an obvious fit.
  • I know no one else can see my vision, so it looks like I’m driving into a corner, but it’s all part of my grand master plan. This is just a stepping stone. I’ll do this for a year and a half or so, and then get a job in sales. With all of my customer experience, I’ll be unstoppable!