“Hey Doug! How’s it going? Shitty right?”
“Haha, hell yeah it is, Don! Super shitty. How’s going for you?”
“Same shit, different day, man. What’s new?”
“Well not much. Oh, I did find about this really cool piece of shit.” said Doug, pulling it out to show Don.
“Cool shit, man! Actually, we’re good friends right? There’s something I’ve been thinking that I need to bounce off someone.”
“Yeah, man. Of course. I’m all ears.”
“Well, I was just thinking, ‘What would our lives be like if we didn’t have so much shit?'”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, all this shit. Do we really need it? I think we’d actually be happier with less shit.”
“Less shit? What are you talking about, Don? What else is there except shit? Are you implying that we live a shit free life?”
“Not a shit free life, just a less shitty life. I often feel like all of this shit is just weighing me down. You know Joan, right? I spend so much time trying to keep up with Joan’s shit. The reality is that I’ll never accumulate as much shit as Joan. That time is wasted.”
“Wasted? You call trying to provide for your wife and larvae as a waste?”
“No, see you’re missing my point. I’m not saying we shouldn’t have shit. I’m just saying that having less shit will help us live longer and be happier. The more shit we have, the harder it is to roll it from place to place, which gives predators more chances to pick us off. If we have less shit, we have a better chance of making it home to our loved ones, and arrive happier because it’s less stressful.”
“Hmmm maybe you’re right, Don. But there isn’t a piece of shit I own that I’d want to be without. I love all of my shit.”
“That’s fair. Everyone has a level of shit they’re willing to maintain. But let me ask you, can you enjoy all of your shit at the same time? While you’re enjoying one piece of shit, you can’t really enjoy another piece of shit. If we limited our shit to just a few pieces, we could enjoy all of our shit and just rotate between the few pieces. And since it’s hard to let go of shit, it’s even more important to just accumulate less shit.”
“You make some good points. I’m going to go home, eat some shit, and think about what you said. Have a shitty rest of your day, Don!”
“Thanks, you too, Doug!”
I enjoy your shit.