What a trip. I’m ready to take off my 3D glasses and walk out of the theater now. Sadly, they’ve been implanted in my head. This year was full of weirdness, anticipation and agony, defeat and resurrection, tiny and large victories, and much adventure. This year was full, to say the least. My goal in life is to not live a life of quiet desperation. I chose to strap myself into this rocket propelled roller coaster. My knuckles are permanently white from gripping the bar so hard.
- Books read = 33
- Book of the year = The Art of Choosing, by Sheena Iyengar
- Movies and Television watched = 38
- Movie of the year = A Star is Born
- Honorary mention = Sneaky Pete Season 1
- Jobs = 4 (New high score!)
- Project Engineer, Assistant Waiter, Author, Life Insurance Agent
- Posts Published = 49 (including monthly reports)
What Went Well
- I followed my dream of working on a cruise ship.
- I proved to myself, and the world, that I can work hard.
- I had the exciting experience of being in Hawaii.
- I had the unique experience being a member of a fire fighting team.
- I wrote 50,000 words.
- I wrote a bunch of articles, and secured an overwhelming victory over my fear of publishing fiction.
- I wrote a bunch of poems, of which I have received resounding positive feedback.
- I journaled about 90% of the days this year. I recorded the good and the bad. Most of it is boring. Some of it is painful to reread. My favorite parts are when I wrote notes to my future self.
What Went Poorly
- My fitness and diet are basically the same as last year. I either completely stagnated, or back slid. Yikes. It just wasn’t a priority. Life is comprised entirely of tiny decisions and one day I’ll have to pay for a whole year’s worth of tiny decisions.
- I contributed very little to my savings this year. This is less concerning to me than health, since I can always make more money later, but I can’t get a younger body later.
- I dabbled with drawing this year. Looking back on my doodles, I’m thoroughly unimpressed. It was fun, but I have no interest in pursuing it further.
- I barely did any swing dancing! Ugh! A revolution without dancing is not a revolution worth having.
- I once fantasized about learning Spanish. This goal can rest on the shelf and collect dust for now. Maybe I’ll get back to it someday.
- Even after a year of journaling almost daily, my handwriting didn’t improve at all! A little disappointing. Oh well.
- I wrote down lots of advice for myself through the year. I used none of it. I need a new strategy of incorporating advice.
- I learned to kowtow to superiors. I can now bend myself to their will, whenever I choose. Even though, of course I know better than them, sometimes it’s more advantageous to just say, “Yes, Ma’am. Yes, Sir. Anything you say.” I can pick my battles now.
- I learned how much I hate being unemployed. I hate it only slightly less than I hated being on the cruise ship. It’s terrible for my mental health.
- Even being a full time volunteer would’ve been better.
- I learned that I do not want to start my own company. There is no such thing as “not having a boss.” Either you have a boss, or the customers are your boss.
- I learned of my “morbidity.” Mortality is the risk of death. Morbidity is the risk of illness or injury. On the cruise ship, I was permanently sore and aching. Everything hurt all the time. That’s how it’s going to be for me when I get older. I’m glad I got on the cruise ship while I was young, because it’s not going to get any easier.
Last year was marked by waiting to get on the cruise ship, and then waiting to get off. I got off… and then had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Now I have direction. I’m hoping that next year will be more straight forward.
At the end of 2017, I felt like I was in the same place as 2016. As I was wrapping up 2018, I started to feel I was in the same place as 2017. Then I did this Annual Review and I realize I’m actually slowly moving. Not necessarily forward, but moving. Anywhere I didn’t make progress, like health, it’s obvious that the reason is because I prioritized chasing my crazy dream. I feel, I dare say, good about the decisions I made. 2018 was crazy for me. 2019 should be simple. Wish me luck.