The fastest way to need a change of shorts in Vietnam

I’m writing this from Vietnam. I keep waffling between writing one mega post, and writing several mini posts. On the one hand, there’s so much I want to say! On the other hand, I keep waiting for the perfect time to write it all, and it never comes. I’ve decided on a mini post to tell you the fastest way to need a change of shorts in Vietnam.

You know how in America, if you’re in the right lane and you need to get to the left lane but you already missed the turn, you just keep going and make a loop. Well in Vietnam you come to a complete stop and force your way into the left lane. Assuming you’re in a car. If you’re on a motorcycle then you speed up and to squeeze between the cars on the left and right. In America, you come to a red light and stop. In Vietnam, you speed up and pass everyone on the left, or the right, it doesn’t matter, just as long as there is room, and by room I mean I could reach out and high five the person next to me. And there are no left turn arrows in Vietnam, you just cross into oncoming traffic. The traffic never stops, there is no break. You just go for it and people slow down slightly and steer around you. Oh, you know how there are one way streets? Well if you want, you can just go the opposite way. Also, the curbs are angled so you can drive up on the sidewalk.

Yeah it’s absolutely insane. I’ve never seen anything like it. The streets have a constant stream of mopeds and motorcycles. It’s non-stop from 6am to at least 10pm when I got to bed.

In America we have Uber or Lyft as a ride hailing service for cars. In Vietnam we have Grab for both cars and motorbikes! Yes you can hop on the back of a very experienced rider/driver of these fine vehicles and you will absolutely destroy your shorts. It is terrifying! But also exhilarating! If I only had 24 hours in Vietnam, I would book a ride on a motorbike just for the thrill of it. I even rode in the rain! I can’t believe I’ve been here for 9 days, and I’ve seen a million bikes, and I have yet to see even a single accident. I think part of the magic trick is that the fastest we go is 25mph. It’s just like looking at a magic trick. Even when I know the trick, no matter how many times I see it, it’s still magic.

I also rented a motorbike! I hired a motorbike rider to take me to the rental shop. I paid ~$7USD and rode 1 mile to our hotel. It’s fun! But you have to have nerves of steel! Luckily riding home I only had to make right turns. Then I got Yen to come take a ride with me around our hotel. We did a bunch of laps making only right hand turns. I know she’s the one because she was willing to put her life in my hands!

Then the next day when I had to return the bike I performed the death defying stunt of making a single left turn into traffic. The route back had only a single left turn, but I was too chicken so I passed it. This added two more left turns to my route! I tried to make a right hand turn, but that added two more left hand turns! Eventually I just took the plunge. I survived!

I definitely recommend hiring a rider and also renting a scooter for a day. Everyone who has lived has loved it!

Me and Yen after I took her around on the bike
Yen is still practicing her riding skills…
Yen is looking very demure. She takes everything in stride. Cool as a cumber.